Sunday, October 7, 2012

I Do... What?

 
After Homer went to bed and Allison eventually came home, the sun rose once more to bring a new day. With that new day came Homer's drive to go to the alchemy shop. He left without a word to Allison, as he normally does, and took a taxi down to the store.




Homer had to pause outside the building to do a little Mr. Burns 'excellent' finger twiddle. Yes, that was a Simpson's reference. On a side note, no, Homer is not named after Homer Simpson. Does he look yellow to you?


After his pause for evil laughter, Homer gleefully trotted in to the store and walked up to the cash register. "Hello good hocus pocus nutter, I mean shop keeper. I need something that might make someone become very good friends with me. Maybe even fall in love with me." The man scratched his head. "Well I don't know about love, but there's something called a Potent Friendship potion. Unfortunately we don't have one at the moment. You can always come back later to see if we have any." "Drat! Er, I mean thanks..."


Homer sulked away but not before going out back to the jellybean bush. Omnomnom...


He left feeling disappointed but he wanted a jelly bean bush for his own. You know what? Why not. Knock yourself out.



After a few days of returning to the alchemy shop with no luck, Homer decided to take matters in to his own hands. He bought himself an alchemy station and began to research, searching for the Potent Friendship potion.


Allison on the other hand, while oblivious to Homer's actions, decided to buy a painting easel. It was a good way to spend time and earn a little cash on the side. Er, did I say little? By the looks of that artwork, it'd be non-existent... Keep trying, dear.


Days had passed and Homer had learned many potions except the for the one he needed. One morning he sat down to breakfast in his hideous work clothes and found a real treat. Pancakes! His favorite! Allison had made his favorite food. Now Homer was even more determined to win her over. She cleaned, repaired, AND fixed pancakes? He needed her!


Finally after days of hard work, Homer discovered the potion he had been waiting for and set to work making it. His normal job that he recently got a promotion at, as you can tell by his new, but still horrible clothes, was just about to start. Thus Homer had to work fast. He was afraid that soon Allison would have enough money to move out. After all, she did have her own job and still had money from when she sold her house.


Once done, Homer mixed the concoction in to a drink and set it on the kitchen table. Allison was in the midst of painting. It was slightly better now that she had some skill but it was still questionable. "Allison? I know you work really hard around here and I'm not the best of roommates so I made a thank you drink."


Allison cautiously moved over and picked up the drink. "Huh.. Well I guess it looks harmless enough..." Yeah, right...



"Well, bottoms up!" Once Allison downed her drink, she suddenly felt a warm tingling inside. She looked at Homer and smiled. You know... He may be a mean, evil, hairy man, but I guess he's not so bad. In fact I kind of like him.


Homer wasted no time and began to flirt with her. He pulled out some white flowers and surprised Allison. She was quite shocked and surprisingly, flattered. He even got in his first kiss! First kiss? You Homer? I would have thought a lady killer like yourself would have had dozens of kisses by now...


Homer had to run off to work and Allison needed to go to bed. But once he came home and she woke up, Homer leaped back in to action. Much to her surprise, Homer pulled out a ring! And again to her surprise, she said yes! Why? He had been so mean to her. And yet Allison felt as though he was a close friend. Don't you find that strange, Allison?


Not wanting to waste any time, Homer had them preform a private ceremony. Right there. In normal clothes. Nothing special. He wanted her to be his wife NOW before she could even begin to think something was wrong.


That's either a look of happiness or subconscious disgust.


Oh yeah, every girl wants to kiss that.


They then decided to consummate their marriage in the most traditional, romantic place. The shower.


The next day while she was painting, Allison suddenly felt very, very nauseous. Homer was in the bathroom so Allison had to rush outside. Maybe she finally realized what she had done. Maybe breakfast was spoiled. Or maybe... hmm...


 
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Disclaimer: Drinking a potion like that wont do anything other than make you realize you like yourself. If you want someone to be your friend, you have to throw the potion at them. I learned that the hard way but kept the potion drinking because it looked nicer and... slightly... less suspicious.

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