Generation One: I Am Ugly, Hear Me Roar

We begin our story with a man named Homer del Saco, (a play on the Spanish boogeyman hombre del saco, or the Sack Man who likes to steal away naughty children in his bag, probably for a snack later.) Isn't he a sexy beast.

 

I really hope he makes some ugly babies. I mean pretty! Pretty babies... Anyway, his traits are Mean Spirited, Evil, Dislikes Children, Grumpy and Brooding. Huh... He's uh... he's a real catch... Anywho, this is his house. It's small but mostly because he put up a large fence. He likes his privacy.

The first thing Homer wanted to do is go join the criminal career, who would have guessed.

Down the way was a pretty young thing named Allison Foster. She was a sweet woman with the traits, Family Oriented, Excitable, Easily Impressed, Nurturing, and Ambitious. She was also a gypsy fortune teller.

From her work she could see Homer's house, although she never knew who lived there. See it? In the upper area between the trees? If you squint you can see the fence... Anyway, most people, including her, always thought the place was abandoned and possibly haunted. After all this was Moonlight Falls, practically everything was haunted.

Allison was thinking about the strange house when a hideous man came along. Homer had been wondering what that grotesquely bright building was near his home and came to check it out when he saw Allison. She was a vision, she was a beauty, she wore ugly gyspy clothes. What a horrible woman she must be.



Homer marched right over and began to scold her. "What in the world possesed you to walk out of your home in that outfit!?"

Allison was stunned. How dare this man come up to her and start yelling at her. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me! You're just as horribly dressed as that wagon is painted!" Allison could feel herself bristling with anger. "Ooo! Who gave you the right to come out here and insult me like this? I don't even know you!" Homer grunted. "Who gave you the right to dress yourself?"

She sighed. "You know what? I don't have to listen to this, excuse me." As Allison tried to pass him, Homer stopped her.

"Hey, listen. I don't want you coming anywhere near my house, got it? You're not welcome."

Allison stared at him in disbelief. "...What?"

With that, Homer ran off home. Allison simply stood there in disbelief. Maybe the man was crazy or something, she thought. More than you know Allison, more than you know...

Later that evening, Allison decided to check out the creepy house near work. Her thoughts were far from the strange man from before and never thought once that this could be his home. She pulled up to the house in a taxi and walked up to the gate.

It was locked but Allison was determined to get in. After a few minutes of struggling, she was able to weaken the lock and open the gate.

It let out a loud groan that chilled Allison to the bones. What a creepy place, maybe it really is haunted... She decided to look through the garden first. So far she didn't see any graves and while the lawn was full of plants, it didn't seem that wild.

Meanwhile, Homer heard the front gate open. He slowly snuck out of the house and spotted Allison. Homer grinned to himself and began to creep up on her before scaring her.

"Rawr!" Allison let out a high pitch scream and turned around. "You!" "Yes me! What did I say! I said stay away from my house!"

"I-I'm sorry! I didn't know! I thought this place was abandoned. I had no idea anyone lived here, let alone you..." "Too bad! Now you're trapped here! And I'm not letting you out." Allison blinked in surprise. "What?"

She scowled. "Now listen here! You can't keep me here! I'll call the police!" Homer let out a guttural laugh. "Yeah, then you can explain why you were tresspasing on private property that clearly has a locked gate."

"Er..." Allison took a step back. "Well... Still, you can't keep me! I'll fight you to get out!" "Oh yeah!?" Suddenly Homer lunged forward.

Homer's not very good at making friends. "Oooh my back...!" "Serves you right! You're not leaving! Now leave me alone so I can sleep." Homer went back inside and slammed the door.

Allison rushed over to the gate and tried to open it. It was locked again but differently and she wasn't sure how to open it. She didn't remember the door even closing. Allison was begining to feel both very angry and quite frightened. She turned around as the door opened and Homer threw a sleeping bag out the door.

With a sigh she moved over and got inside the bag. She was too tired to try to escape or argue and was sore from their fight. Allison was going to have to wait until morning to try and leave.